The Center Cannot Hold in ‘Action Comics’ #34
Doomsday is all brawn (and/or energy absorption). Brainiac is all brains (it’s in his name!) How are you going to handle both of them ruining your world at once? This is exactly like grade school, when the wormy little twerp you could lick in a fair fight would provoke trouble and then run behind the tough kid who could kick your butt. (You are correct to think this is a metaphor about you, Joe…
Wil Wheaton Projects His Geekery
Wil Wheaton knows geeks..or to be more precise, the actor, blogger, producer, author (and more) is a champion of geek culture. So it shouldn’t come as any surprise that his latest venture, The Wil Wheaton Project(found on the SyFy network) explores and celebrates all things found within the realm of science fiction and genre entertainment — like television, pop-culture and video games. The…
What’s the Focal Length of Whiskey?
People talk about beer goggles, but goggles are meant to protect those working in dangerous situations with a lot of dirt and liquid. Which can be tremendous fun. But they still restrict your view of what’s really going on. When we want to put the world in perspective, whether we’re putting an important decision under the microscope or trying to telescope out to see the bigger picture, a glass…
3 Reasons Your “Get Back In the Kitchen” Joke is Boring
On August 14, Infinity Ward and Activision revealed that they would be adding a playable female character to Call of Duty: Ghosts, which comes out this November. For a franchise that’s been around for ten years, this may seem like a natural progression, or, if you’re like me, prompted a series of creative expletives followed by “FINALLY” and a sigh so long that I’m now 85 years old.
The Runner Who Couldn’t Stop, Even to Win
Simply put, Politis of Keramos is the only guy in the entire history of running to win three Olympic events in the sport on the same day. If you’re thinking “Hmph, that doesn’t sound that impressive,” we should point out he ran each race consecutively, without a break. (more…)
- DC: Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-
- Marvel: YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS
- DC: We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.
- Marvel: HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE
- DC: The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.
- Marvel: DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER
- DC: After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.
- Marvel: PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW
- DC: We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...
- Marvel: NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.
- DC: We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.
- Marvel: NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS AWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM
- DC: We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.
- Marvel: FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO
- DC: Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-
- Marvel: NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK
- DC: Wait-
- Marvel: NEW FEMALE THOR
- DC: I didn't-
- Marvel: NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA
- Marvel: TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE
- Marvel: PEACE
Eric Burdon Is Still An Animal
The mark of a music icon is that he never stops doing what made him stand out from day one. The name “Eric Burdon” may conjure up the rock group the Animals and the funk band WAR, but you only have to listen to his latest album, Til Your River Runs Dry, to hear that the legendary singer-songwriter isn’t rooted in the past. Known for his aggressive stage performance, we caught up with the Rock…
Say a Fast Goodbye in ‘Detective Comics’ Annual #3
Hey, man, c’mere. Whatcha looking for man, whattayouse need? Maybe some ice? Smoke? Herb? Ick? Don’t give us that look, you know what ick is. Icarus, baby, the newest stuff on the market. Turn you into the Flash’s slowpoke brother for the next hour, but be careful you don’t take too much. The dopes who can’t handle it light up like a Roman candle when they over-accelerate their bodies. But hey,…